Writing About Mental Health Is Hard

I feel like I spent about 50% of the time on this blog explaining why I haven’t been posting, which is frustrating because I have so much to share but writing about mental health – specifically your own, is very hard.

It’s a catch 22 situation.

If I’m going through something it can good to share, to help others, to let them know they’re not the only one who feels completely hopeless but at the same time – I am trying to keep my head above water, trying to keep busy and keep away from those feelings. Sitting and writing a blog post about it all for 30 minutes or however long it takes to write can just dig me deeper into despair.

However, if I’m okay or I’m doing pretty good, it’s hard also for me to drag up all my issues into a blog post – explain myself and bring all the things that are wrong with me to the fore front of my mind.

99% of the time, this is why there is a gap in me posting. Because it’s hard. Because, yes I admit it – I try to stay away from my issues as much as possible.

Do any other mental health bloggers have this issue?

– Vin

 

Why Am I Here Blogging About This?

Source: weheartit.com

First posts on blog’s are always hard to write because sometimes without background a post makes little sense – this is why the first post here is straight to the point – I’m going to explain why I’m starting a blog about “this” (you’ll find out what “this” is below).

I’m that 20 something girl with some issues and a dark past. Everyone seems to know someone like me, but do they really know them at all? I’m not emo, I’m not a gothic. I’m a regular girl in jeans and t-shirt, shopping with her friend, drooling over Johnny Depp in the cinema.

I’ve had OCD (obessive compulsive disorder), anxiety, panic attacks, depression, been suicidal and self-harmed. Had? Yes had – for the most part anyway. I still suffer from depression, I still have anxiety sometimes and the self-harm and being suicidal hasn’t happened for a while but it’s still a battle I have to fight in order to win.
These are not the only issues have but the more major ones – others include trust, nightmares, night terrors – the list goes on.

Why all these issues? Because – because I was sexually abused as a child. And believe me that is not easy to type even now – it just took me 20 minutes to write those 7 words – probably more than it will take me to write the rest of this entire post.

So, why blog about it?

Because (and I say this with a lot of strength) – I damn well can.

I’ve wanted to do this for a while, but I wasn’t healed, recovered or strong enough. I had to get so much of my life together before I had the confidence to do this for myself, but not only that – I want this to be able to help others. Others who have been through the same or similar experiences. Even those that know someone who has been through any of what I’ve been through and they’re not sure what to do.

And last but not least – because it’s time someone did. It’s time it wasn’t taboo to talk about. It’s time there was more awareness.

– Vin